**Okay, so I've taken a couple of deep breaths, and I am going to try and re-create the awesomeness that was my earlier post, before it was deleted by Blogger. Picture this post, only ten times cooler.**
Sitting in Starbucks at 7:30 in the morning is nothing but pure awesomeness. My laptop that enjoys placing my cursor in random spots of my text while I'm typing, however, is not.
I like to pretend to listen to my iPod and eavesdrop on the conversations around me. It's very entertaining the things people say around you when they think you're not listening. I'm not counting the two Russians who keep looking at me and speaking in a language I don't understand (little-known fact: we have a Russian mafia in town).
Some poor girl is interviewing for a job, but I don't think she's going to get it. A) don't come to an interview in a brown beanie, even if it is for Sbux. B) don't insert into your interview, "I should probably tell you about x, y, & z bad things that happened to me last time I worked at Sbux. I just wanted to let you know so it didn't effect your decision on hiring me." It never turns out well. Ten bucks says they've already marked the "un-hirable" box on the interview sheet.
I have my laptop out and my iPod in and some guy comes up to me and asks, "Are you here to meet a D.J.?" Sorry, buddy, but with me typing on my laptop and listening to my iPod, I'm probably here to type on my laptop and listen to my iPod, not meet a D.J. Of course, I only smiled and said, "No, sorry."
I was a little bummed that the barista didn't leave room for cream in my coffee like I asked, I'm not gonna lie.
I keep getting envious looks from fellow patrons at the killer spot I snagged (table, padded bench and TWO outlets) because I got here so early that the parking lot was still empty. But it nets out to 0 with the chilly draft swirling around my legs.
I leave for San Fran tomorrow morning, bright and early at 6:30. Yes, that's in the AM. I think I have everything ready--two suitcases, a giant carry-on purse with everything from my laptop to the kitchen sink, and a book.
My mom and I are spending the first half of the trip with family and the second half at the conference, and I think I'm ready. My book is finished (almost, just doing a couple more scenes) with three edits. I have my pitch. I have my first pages in case anyone asks. And I'm finishing up my query and synopsis. No I just have to psych myself up. Which is kind of weird.
Ask anyone who knows me and they'll tell you I'm a happy, positive, laid back, social person. I love being around people and don't mind being the center of attention sometimes. I like always being on the go and being around a group of people. But something about going to this conference terrifies me. As in--can't breathe and hope nobody talks to me terrified.
Which is dumb on countless levels.
I'm going there to network and meet people. I'm going there to TALK to agents and pitch my book--hopefully come home with many requests to see more. So why am I so scared?
If I were laying on a couch talking to a therapist charging me hundreds of dollars an our, they would probably say it went back to my childhood. High school to be precise. I wasn't popular. *insert sympathetic noises, here*. I wasn't popular. I didn't really fit in anywhere, and I kind of clung to that.
Which is weird.
Because I'm going to SFWC to meet people, network, and *gasp* TALK to people--namely agents who can sell my book. In order to do that, I'm going to have to draw attention to myself.
Ask anyone who knows me and they'll tell you I'm a funny, social, laid back, outgoing person. I like being around people, big groups, and trying new things. I like being spontaneous and trying new things. Sometimes, I even like being the center of attention. My biggest fear is, WHAT IF THEY DON'T LIKE ME????
Silliness, I know. I guess my excitement at this amazing opportunity is temporarily masked by morbid fear. I'll let you know if it passes. Anyway, I am completely psyched at the opportunity to learn and meat people. I will try and keep daily posts going during SFWC for those of you who care, and it'd better be all of you. :)
I just need to project positiveness out into the universe and it will return it back to me (extra points to those of you awesome people who can name the TV show and character who says that).
Roger, roger. Over and out.