Friday night was my ritual "Movie with Renee" night. We grab dinner and usually see a funny film that's out. But this time around, we chose to see a scary one. Most of you know that I've been on the lookout for a movie that really scares me. Well, my friends, this was it. Now, I don't know if it was because I just haven't seen a scary movie in a while so I jumped at every little thing, or if it was truly scary. You make that decision for yourself; but I will say this: Renee wasn't scared at all. She said it was like watching a comedy because of my reactions.
So, the movie's about a man, Arthur Kipps, who works for a law firm settling estates and wills. He has a four-year-old little boy (Misha Hadley) who's the cutest boy in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD who his wife died giving birth to. He has no money, "final notice" declarations on bills, and with this last assignment, he can pull himself (hopefully) out of his rut.
He goes to a little English town with unfriendly locals and starts to go through the deceased's papers. Oh yeah, the house is haunted and for some reason, children keep dying. The middle of the story was scary as all get out (which included a little boy crawling out of the mud during a rain storm and getting inside the house). The ending was a bit of a letdown, but I guess it kind of/somewhat/just a little bit fit the ending the character (Radcliffe) needed.
The movie was awesome for all its little moments of heart attacks. At one point, I got so scared that I pushed myself back in my chair and choked on the giant inhale I took. Renee laughed. But, if you're looking for something with a true plot to it, you're looking in the wrong place (as is the case with most scary movies). I was excited to see Daniel in something new, but the entire time, I kept thinking Harry Potter, Harry Potter. And it was a bit unbelievable for me that he'd have a 4-year-old son. Oh, and another thing, He had hardly any lines in the movie. Most of the time he was exploring the old house, alone, trying to find the source of the strange noises he was hearing.
But good things did come from watching this film. When you go see a scary movie, there are previews for other scary movies. Between those previews and the Woman in Black, Renee and I noticed certain themes and came up with a list on how to survive a horror movie, should you find yourself trapped inside one:
- If you find yourself on a road trip to the remote woods (possibly to go camping), don't go
- If your "crew" is made up of two or more good looking guys, two or more good looking girls, and some random "not so cool" guy, you're probably in a horror flick
- If you stumble across a dilapidated one-pump gas station with a scary attendant, turn back
- No sex in the woods, that's THE NUMBER ONE SIGN you're in a horror movie and you're going to DIE
- If there's a wall or a door with a hole in it, DO NOT look through it. That's a sure fire way to lose an eye or something terrifying is going to jump out at you
- Don't explore strange noises, especially in the dark, but neither is it safe to do it during the day
- Never split up. Never
- Candles are an unreliable source of light
- Creepy town + creepy people + creepy house = certain death
- If your dog starts barking ferociously at thin air, you're screwed
- Evil ghost's can't be appeased, no matter what you give them
- Make sure you're faster than at least one other person in your crew
- Basements and attics are not your friend. Neither are bathrooms.