Thursday, May 26, 2011

Why I dislike my neighbor. Intensley.

Every neighborhood has one—a neighbor whose sole existence is waiting for the mail, looking for CC & R violations, and making your life hell. With a capital “H.” Hubby and I have been lucky in that we haven’t had to go far to find ours. She lives next door in the form of a 69-year-old “feeble” woman with a one-eyed Pomeranian.

We’ve owned our house for the past 5 or so years and have come to one conclusion: with the exception of a few neighbors, the remainder are less than desirable. Let me explain the math (and yes, I am a tad cynical today due to lack of sleep and not enough coffee in stock this morning to remedy the situation). A few weeks ago I had an “encounter” with my Arch Nemesis (who we’ve had constant problems with). I thought I’d share the visual aids—and actual pieces of evidence—to help tell the story. What you should take away from this? Be prepared when you attempt to take me on. Especially when you try to use sarcasm in your attacks.

Oh, PS - I am a nice person. I like you until you show me I shouldn't. Like she did. :)

Okay. So, the back-story:

We don't have a fence on that side of the yard and it's been pretty ambiguous as to where the property line is, so we both have been mowing a little into each other's yard to cover the mowing. A couple of weekends ago, I noticed a small, white, metal hook in the front yard about where the property line could be. I didn't know what it was for, so I removed it, mowed, and put it back. This two-page letter from her is the result.

Two words: Eight inches. I took out my ruler.

"Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line"!"
--Vizzini  (The Princess Bride)



  1. And now I know why you write! You excel at it! I would say you should keep your neighbor's letter, not only as future proof, but also to add to a book of absurd quotes & letters from weird people. I guarantee you that if you wrote said book, it WOULD be published! :) She does have very precise penmanship, I must say. Good luck!

  2. Haha! You're the second person who has said something about her penmanship! And I agree, it is rather nice. :)